Monday, December 6, 2010

An Epiphany in the midst of Suffering

I have had a somewhat painful epiphany, but when digging myself deep into the thoughts of suffering in a Biblical sense, I have found that my occurrences have led me to believe I had a moment of deeper understanding. I had the combination of having a bad day, and a day that held an epiphany. A moment of rarity, rather, but that is the best kind.

My Uncle passed away on November 27th of this year after a long battle of liver cancer. He suffered through years of fear, physical anguish, and hopelessness due to the devastation of his disease. I was lucky enough to be home the night that he passed. My family and I stood around him as tears flooded down our faces, and we watched him take his final breaths. I had seen him suffer more than anyone in the events leading up to his death. He had laid in that hospice bed not being able to fully live, or fully die, but just lay there in agony as his world moved on without his control. I knew he was hiding his pain, but it was made evident with every grievous breath of air that he took, as his body housed this murderous cancer. He was innocent, and he suffered.

And then he went. The expressions on his face beneath his wrinkled skin that had once been filled with strain and torment, had somewhat released expressions that had turned to relief and comfort in the moments after he had passed. It was as if his suffering was erased. I was too upset to juggle any other thoughts, but as my mind had eventually calmed, I had noticed that I had an epiphany. Death ended his suffering. My Uncle had "accepted God's invitation", and released his suffering from his cancer, and it was all made evident to me as I witnessed the change of expressions upon his face.
From this experience, I have come to my own understanding of why God allows the suffering of innocents. I think that for he knows one day these innocent people who suffer, will one day be delivered to ultimate solitude, and freed of all devastation. For while we are on earth, we live fully and that will entail coming upon suffering, but that is the beauty of life, and overcoming the triumphs that will be in our way. And I think that even though this may require suffering, God wants humans, his children, to find out who we really are individually, and take notice of how strong we can be to move past suffering into a world of complete sanctuary, which will we be welcomed into once we succumb death ,and rest in ultimate peace.
Thank you Uncle Tommy for teaching me strength through your suffering.

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